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Scratching the Surface

by I'd Rather Die

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1.
Hear Me Now 02:56
lyrics
i'm more inclined to tell the way that i really feel some times i feel alright, but most of the time not really sure and i don't care about the state of my sanity censor me or not, i'll rot on my soapbox CH: hear me now, or hear me later hear me not, you will hear me either way i bitch about the things i go through everyday and i care what anybody has to say to me another day brings pressures of a brand new strain another foot i have to fight to take right off my chest when i confess i ease the pain i feel inside this is my life, a constant battlefield
2.
Atrocity 03:43
lyrics
these situations, they drive me crazy if it's not one thing it's another i'm pulling out my hair, i'm grinding my teeth i'm hoping for an answer that involves the death of me atrocity complications arise again from nowhere just like they always do when i least expect it is when i should you see i try but problems always arise CH: my scars will never heal my heart won't let me feel old wounds reappear my feelings disappear atrocity another set back, no way to get back what the hell have i done another memory come back to haunt me which way do i run atrocity
3.
These Girls Just Kill Me 03:01
lyrics
i'm tired of the opposite sex i'm tired of being the one they reject i'm tired of just being friends and i hate it when they say everything will be okay and i hate it when they pretend that i have a shot, that they like me a lot that i'm a great guy, well then give me a try their horns are hidden, their halos are tilted why make me believe when they can't even see me for who i am stop fucking saying i have a chance when i know exactly where i stand you can't see me for more than just a friend that's your nice way of saying "no use playing, you never had a chance" i'm always the nice friend, but never the boyfriend it's about time that i complain i'm always the last in line, i'm always just wasting my time and no i'm not gonna cry 'cause i don't have a shot, they don't like me a lot i am a great guy who's not given a try their horns are hidden, their halos are tilted they made me believe when when they can't even see me for who i am stop fucking saying i have a chance when i know exactly where i stand you can't see me for more than just a friend that's your nice way of saying "no use playing, you never had a chance"
4.
Every Time I Cry 02:56
lyrics
i'm a mess on the inside when i think that i'm fine i die a little more when i think about it i just can't fight it there's no way around this CH: and every time i cry i see that everything on my mind ails me every time i cry time heals all or so i'm told i won't find peace until i'm old that's if i even can get there by then i don't think it won't matter by then it won't matter i guess i'll see if i get there CH: and every time i cry i see that everything on my mind ails me in my mind it always seems that i can not just be happy every time i cry
5.
A Solution to A Problem 04:18
lyrics
half past 2 and i lie awake i question myself and my intent where am i going and what do i want these questions never get solved all they do is haunt everybody says that i'll be okay as long as i kneel down and begin to pray but i can't fathom ever thinking that way all i've gotta do is just clear my head CH: it's about time i clear my head if i can not then i'll end up dead these things in me push me to the edge when all i've gotta do is clear my head everything starts to feel like regret and everything i've done just looks like mistakes how can i stop things from being this way how can i make these feeling just go away wrong or right i'm cynical i'm negative, i killed my hope when all i have to do is just believe in me, in myself it's hard to find this kind of wealth i'm in need of some help i'm cynical, i'm negative i killed my hope when all i have to do is just believe in me
6.
I Love It When She Cries 03:38
lyrics
she cries nobody loves her, but everyone wants her and she wants them all it's fun to see everyone but me has got her attention hey pretty girl where ya goin, where ya goin now you're so depressed, you're so depressed it makes me laugh CH: i love it when the beautiful people cry her life's so hard 'cause nobody no one understands her so understand her one guy turns her down and her frown looks so sweet to me the years of the easy life has ended it's run now she wants to end her life 'cause all her life she got what she want and now it's all over her ride is over now
7.
A Song Not to Be Heard 'Cause I Hate Regrets 04:45
lyrics
now i know that i never should have kept myself from anything that i wanted for me now i'm learning from my mistakes that i made when i was a young boy affect me now that i'm a man CH: 'cause i'm miserable but you're happy and i'm happy but i'm sad this doesn't make any sense to you well it doesn't have to missing all the things never shared and everything that i never had don't you tell me i don't know what i'm saying, 'cause i know that what i'm saying is true to me everyday i'm reminiscing all those days as when all my dreams were as pure as, as pure as truth
8.
You Just Scratched the Surface 03:47
lyrics
you think you know everything there is to know about me but you're wrong, you'll never know the real me you'll never understand me, you'll never fucking get me stop wasting your time, stop wasting mine and every attempt you makes a mistake so stay away from me you never know when to quit you're bothering me go for broke while i light my smoke just keep on wasting your breathe trying to analyze what lies behind these tired eyes there's more you don't know and more i won't show and every attempt you makes a mistake so stay away from me you never know when to quit you're bothering me every time you think you think you've got me figured out you just scratched the surface everything you found i've pointed out before so you found nothing just stay away from me you never know when to quit you're bothering me
9.
In My Head 02:29
lyrics
hey i like you, do you like me too please say yes or i'll slit my wrist for you i'll bleed for you, won't you bleed for me too please take your time to answer CH: now i know what love's all about at least so in my head i know you see me watching you i watch you all the time, oh yes all the time please don't be afraid 'cause i won't hurt you at least not at first i know i've said this before but i swear i love you even though you just met me my name is john, i'm a libra, what's your sign i know that you complete me
10.
Another Dream 05:16
lyrics
another dream that i wish for is to win the heart of a girl she's so sweet and so beautiful but i know i'm not what she wants 'cause i'm nothing of the man of her dreams i'm nothing but the man she can't see and her eyes, her beautiful eyes they won't ever meet mine CH: and i wish that i could be so much more if i hold my breathe and turn blue for you would it even matter 'cause i caught myself just wanting more than she will ever offer a friendship and nothing more but i'll love her more than anyone and i know i'll never be so much more
11.
The Day Things Went Right 02:27
lyrics
i'm trying to learn to love by forgetting how to hate this takes it's toll on me a million tears i've cried, a million days i've wasted in pain i waste away CH: i close my eyes and change my mind when they open i'll see something new a brand new day, a brand new way i'll change my life so i won't live in pain don't know which way to go, it's all new to me i'm scared but this is good for me i'm wiping off my cheeks, i'm drying my eyes taking my steps towards a new life no more, i've close those doors and i thank my love for being the one now on my life is worth much more what i thought before

about

recorded off and on through out 2009. never officially released, though some copies were sold at a few shows after it was recorded.

credits

released September 1, 2009

all music and lyrics by Jackass John. all performed, recorded, and mixed by Jackass John at I'd Rather Die Studio.

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I'd Rather Die San Antonio, Texas

sad and angry music for sad and angry people

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